Buddha blasts blasphemy law
NIRVANA – The Buddha has launched a stinging criticism of Ireland’s new anti-blasphemy provision, calling it “a crock of shit.”
Siddhartha Gautama, also known as the Enlightened One, broke off mid-meditation to speak to Not the Nuacht, saying: “Life is suffering and being a Supreme Being should be no picnic either. Honestly, I’ve been around for a few thousand years so I’m not going to get too bothered by people calling me a fat fucker or naming bars after me or saying my religion is a pile of mystical New Age bollocks but people getting their knickers in a knot because they think I might get offended gets on my – frankly magnificent – tits. The law is a crock of shit. Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it—even if I have said it—unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”
The Judeo-Christian God was unavailable for comment after a busy day laying waste to Haiti and transforming herself into many millions of little white cookies. “She’s wrecked,” an aide said.
Similarly, Allah, who is not pictured in the non-existent image above, refused to tear himself away from his ringside seat at the stoning of a 13-year-old Somalian rape victim for adultery to comment.
